On 21st January I took over my Mum’s blog for the first time. This is what I had to say.
Hi, it’s Jez here today. I thought it was about time you heard things from my point of view.
It’s this walking lark. Why? Twice a day they wake me up and drag me round places on a lead. Ok, there are some good smells out there, and I get to meet other dogs (which is really good – especially if they’ll let me play with them), and other people (which is quite good – and I’m really fond of children). But it wears me out! Can’t they see that? Doesn’t the crashing out on the sofa for a couple of hours afterwards give them some sort of clue?
So yesterday I decided to rebel and let my Mum know that I was not in the mood for a walk. I tried hiding at the top of the stairs as soon as I saw her put her coat on and get my lead. And I think it would have worked, but she tricked me by calling me in a way that sounded as though she had some food for me! Next thing I knew she’d put my car harness and lead on me! Not to be outdone, I headed back for the top of the stairs again and this time flatly refused to budge. Mum took a photo of me so that you could see just how much I didn’t want to go out!
Then Dad appeared and between then they persuaded me down the stairs and into the car. Not to be outdone, though, I thought I’d show my displeasure by playing up for the first 20 minutes or so of my walk. I pulled like mad if I saw another dog, I would not walk where my Mum wanted me to, and I kept just sitting down and refusing to budge no matter how much she coaxed me. That will show her! In the end it was all too much like hard work though, and we were at the Country Park, which I normally like, so I eventually gave up and was really good for the rest of my walk. And it was worth it, as I met lots of nice dogs, and got nice and muddy into the bargain!
Today I wasn’t quite so obstinate, but I did put in a token protest when she went to put my harness on. But I got in the car ok, and boy, was I pleased I did. We went to the beach, which is my #1 favourite place (after Pets at Home). And when we got on the beach SHE LET ME OFF THE LEAD!!!!! How fab was that? I’ve never been let off the lead before. I could run around wherever I wanted, although I didn’t like getting too far away from Mum. After all, she did have Tangy Cheese Dorritos in her pocket! And she’d taken my Wubba, and kept throwing it for me. I had such good fun running and getting it. Mum took some photos of me to show you what a good girl I was.
Of course, I couldn’t let her have it all her own way. Sometimes I had to put in a token protest…
I did pose nicely for the camera though.
Mind you, by the end of it I was absolutely worn out. I slept in the car all the way home and wasn’t particularly impressed when I had to get out at the other end. Why not just leave me sleeping in the car? Once indoors I dragged myself up the stairs and just crashed out on the landing. But it was such good fun, and I enjoyed myself so much. I’m hoping that if I’m a good girl Mum will take me again.
And lastly before I go, Mum bought a book yesterday called ‘One hundred ways for a dog to train its human’. I thought she might have bought it for me, so ran off with it and gave it a quick chew – but she came and took it off me. But there are some good pointers in it (I’ve heard her reading them out loud to Dad). For example:
“When your human throws a stick ask yourself 3 important questions:
- Is it a stick you particularly want?
- Can you be naffed to go and get it?
- Does your human look stupid enough to go and get it if you don’t, only to throw it one more time in the hope they might encourage you to go and get it this time?
If you answer ‘No’ to the first two and ‘Yes’ to the third, just lie down on the ground and watch your human tire themselves out.”
This is the best advice in it though:
“Master or servant? Just remember who shovels whose poo up. There’s your answer.”
The next day we went down to the beach again – twice. Dad came with us in the afternoon, and so there are even more photos of me.
Someone might have told me how deep that pool was in the last one – I could have drowned!!!!
At the end of the month, Mum went away for a couple of days: something about going off to act on a Murder Weekend. I didn’t think much of it though as I missed her. Dad did his best to entertain me, but at the end of the day he’s Not-the-Mummy. I don’t like it when either of them go away though – I like having them both here with me. That way I know where they are, and know I’ve got nothing to worry about.